New Homeopathic Pain Reliever Derived from Cobra Venom
Anyone who has seen a recent television interview with an aging, expressionless- Hollywood debutante, who somehow manages to get through the entire segment without once moving her lips, knows that this is not the first time that a deadly poison has been used for medical purposes. Botox, a refined version of Botulism toxin has been used for years to treat wrinkles and laugh lines- often with hilarious side-effects.
Now, a new toxin is poised to become America’s poison du jour. It’s called Cobroxin, a clever mixture of Asian Cobra Venom, Purified Water, Natural Flavoring, Citric Acid and another ingredient that I can’t pronounce. According to their website you can now purchase Cobroxin in a soothing gel or in an oral spray, right over the counter at your local CVS Pharmacy.
I have run across several studies that somehow managed to justify the analgesic properties of Cobra Venom, but I have to think that any snake venom processed for human consumption would have to be diluted to the point of having no real effect on humans.
According to their website, while adverse events were rare, most of the drugs side nastier effects were due to neurotoxins in the venom. Life-threatening “allergic reactions” were also reported in studies where patients were injected with the drug. So if you experience such a reaction while taking (or god forbid injecting) Cobraxin, it’s makers recommend taking an oral antihistamine. Kind of makes you wonder why hospitals still keep anti-venom around, when all you need is a benadryl.
I used to have a friend in college who participated in medical studies so he wouldn’t have to get a real job. He used to get $6,000 dollars for taking some cholesterol drug for a few weeks. I can’t only imagine how much cash these guys had to hand over to get people to shoot up Cobra Venom.
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Though, since I do suffer from some chronic pain myself, I actually wouldn’t mind being proved wrong on this one. And no matter how bad it is, this particular homeopathic pain remedy couldn’t be anymore useless than “Head On”. A product that (as embarrassing as it is to admit) I once paid money for.