New Homeopathic Pain Reliever Derived from Cobra Venom
Anyone who has seen a recent television interview with an aging, expressionless- Hollywood debutante, who somehow manages to get through the entire segment without once moving her lips, knows that this is not the first time that a deadly poison has been used for medical purposes. Botox, a refined version of Botulism toxin has been used for years to treat wrinkles and laugh lines- often with hilarious side-effects.
Now, a new toxin is poised to become America’s poison du jour. It’s called Cobroxin, a clever mixture of Asian Cobra Venom, Purified Water, Natural Flavoring, Citric Acid and another ingredient that I can’t pronounce. According to their website you can now purchase Cobroxin in a soothing gel or in an oral spray, right over the counter at your local CVS Pharmacy.
I have run across several studies that somehow managed to justify the analgesic properties of Cobra Venom, but I have to think that any snake venom processed for human consumption would have to be diluted to the point of having no real effect on humans.
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According to their website, while adverse events were rare, most of the drugs side nastier effects were due to neurotoxins in the venom. Life-threatening “allergic reactions” were also reported in studies where patients were injected with the drug. So if you experience such a reaction while taking (or god forbid injecting) Cobraxin, it’s makers recommend taking an oral antihistamine. Kind of makes you wonder why hospitals still keep anti-venom around, when all you need is a benadryl.
I used to have a friend in college who participated in medical studies so he wouldn’t have to get a real job. He used to get $6,000 dollars for taking some cholesterol drug for a few weeks. I can’t only imagine how much cash these guys had to hand over to get people to shoot up Cobra Venom.
Though, since I do suffer from some chronic pain myself, I actually wouldn’t mind being proved wrong on this one. And no matter how bad it is, this particular homeopathic pain remedy couldn’t be anymore useless than “Head On”. A product that (as embarrassing as it is to admit) I once paid money for.