Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It
It is 3:20 in the morning and I am wide awake having one of those wonderful things called hot flashes. Before this wonderful portion of my life called menopause began, my thoughts of being hot in the evening were a little different, and being cool had a whole different meaning, too. But facing menopause has taught me a few things.
Sagging can be prevented. Just keep eating until the wrinkles fill out.
Since I’ve been getting older, my memory is not as good as it used to be. Also, my memory is not as good as it used to be.
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
It’s scary when your body starts making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
You know you’re getting older when most of the products in your shopping cart contain the words “fast relief.”
I’m not having hot flashes. It’s just my inner child playing with matches.
I have found the cure for hot flashes. Chocolate! Does it work? I don’t know and as long as I have chocolate, I don’t care.
The up side to all this is I found out I’m not alone. My friend called me this week and said she doesn’t know what is wrong with her but she just feels bad. She said, “I ache all over and I just feel blah. One minute I’m burning up; the next freezing. I can’t remember what I was about to say, or what I got up to do. Things on me hurt I didn’t know I even had.” I said welcome to menopause.
Robin McGraw said she has found the natural cure for menopause. She has a treasure trove of herbal remedies. I think Dr Phil’s money would cure many of my problems. At least if I was out shopping, I’d have less time to worry about my face being on fire.
I’ve decided I can do dieting or menopause but not both. And since I have no choice about the menopause…
This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida:
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!” The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.
Discovering the right Change of life Alleviation
It is more rapidly to obtain Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It change of life reduction these days than in the past. Shop shelving and also Sites provide a numerous merchandise encouraging the menopause reduction to the the menopause worn out. Before selecting and/or having almost any treatment, Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It regardless of whether over the counter as well as recommended, it's wise for additional info on what to do and grow educated on what is available.
As a way to come from lookup of menopause comfort therapies, it's a good idea to create a variety of your current change of life signs or symptoms. Site map for Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It Once you have made the listing, fee each and every indication to the seriousness combined with the influence it's donning your day-to-day living. Various drugs and various levels will certainly supply varying menopause reduction Cassie Vault and are generally employed for particular change of life problems. You won't does one excellent to check out an organic the change of life technique for being menopausal whizzes when it is not particularly for menopausal flashes. Some ladies steer clear of having the signs of menopause comfort they demand because they are just with the drastically wrong medicine to deal with instances as a result of the change of life. An added cause a lot of women don't turn out to be adequate menopause alleviation is simply because them selves health care providers as well as physicians are not since educated upon change of life treatments after they could possibly be. Thus coming into the physician's workplace by using a report on signs or symptoms and perhaps even the menopause residence examination results generally is a large aid in allowing your doctor really know what sort of therapy you really want. If you believe your current physician is certainly not well-informed in relation to the menopause along with charge of the menopause alleviation, perform due diligence first that is. Of course, it is completely alright to vary medical professionals and discover someone which is equally up-to-date for your newest remedies in addition to the one that will take care of the whole you rather than only a indication or perhaps test end result.
Do not forget you will find a ton you can use on your own to obtain the menopause relief. Workout, diet, tension management, and also sufficient snooze are typical conditions provide you with a lot of the menopause relief. There's also many textbooks upon the menopause that will provide you with secrets and techniques with regard to alleviating change of life signs. On-line forums along with community forums are a great way to discover assistance which may offer you necessary menopause alleviation. No matter what, never give up. The change of life alleviation is very possible in case you just maintain search in the treatment or even therapies that may be powerful to suit your needs.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition; for the same reason, she did not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat!
She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why…A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale teenagers were reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
And my favorite old age story…True story…about my mom!
My mom and her friends, Mildred and Thelma were out shopping together one day, when Thelma decided to run back into the store for something. Mom and Mildred waited in the car.
Mom, looking up: Mildred! Your headliner in this car is coming down back here.
Mildred: What? Oh my God. It better not be.
Mom: It is! Look at this!
Mildred: Well that beats all. I’m taking this car right back to the dealer. I haven’t had this car long. It shouldn’t be doing that.
Mom: No, you’re right. I’d take it back and give them a piece of my mind.
Mildred: Yeah! I sure will.
A few minutes pass and then….
Mom: Uh, Mildred…I just realized….this is not your car…this is Thelma’s car.