Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It
It is 3:20 in the morning and I am wide awake having one of those wonderful things called hot flashes. Before this wonderful portion of my life called menopause began, my thoughts of being hot in the evening were a little different, and being cool had a whole different meaning, too. But facing menopause has taught me a few things.
Sagging can be prevented. Just keep eating until the wrinkles fill out.
Since I’ve been getting older, my memory is not as good as it used to be. Also, my memory is not as good as it used to be.
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
It’s scary when your body starts making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
You know you’re getting older when most of the products in your shopping cart contain the words “fast relief.”
I’m not having hot flashes. It’s just my inner child playing with matches.
I have found the cure for hot flashes. Chocolate! Does it work? I don’t know and as long as I have chocolate, I don’t care.
The up side to all this is I found out I’m not alone. My friend called me this week and said she doesn’t know what is wrong with her but she just feels bad. She said, “I ache all over and I just feel blah. One minute I’m burning up; the next freezing. I can’t remember what I was about to say, or what I got up to do. Things on me hurt I didn’t know I even had.” I said welcome to menopause.
Robin McGraw said she has found the natural cure for menopause. She has a treasure trove of herbal remedies. I think Dr Phil’s money would cure many of my problems. At least if I was out shopping, I’d have less time to worry about my face being on fire.
I’ve decided I can do dieting or menopause but not both. And since I have no choice about the menopause…
This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida:
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!” The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition; for the same reason, she did not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat!
She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why…A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale teenagers were reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
And my favorite old age story…True story…about my mom!
My mom and her friends, Mildred and Thelma were out shopping together one day, when Thelma decided to run back into the store for something. Mom and Mildred waited in the car.
Mom, looking up: Mildred! Your headliner in this car is coming down back here.
Mildred: What? Oh my God. It better not be.
Mom: It is! Look at this!
Mildred: Well that beats all. I’m taking this car right back to the dealer. I haven’t had this car long. It shouldn’t be doing that.
Mom: No, you’re right. I’d take it back and give them a piece of my mind.
Mildred: Yeah! I sure will.
A few minutes pass and then….
Finding The Right Menopause Alleviation
It can be faster to acquire Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It menopause alleviation these days than in the past. Shop racks along with Websites give you a a lot of merchandise offering the menopause reduction to the change of life weary. Before purchasing and/or taking any type of prescription medication, Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It no matter whether non-prescription as well as approved, it's wise to learn more about your skill and grow educated upon what exactly is offered.
As a way to come from research regarding change of life alleviation therapies, it's wise to create a amount of your own the menopause symptoms. Site map for Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It When you have made your list, price every single symptom for that intensity along with the influence it is wearing your current day-to-day residing. Various medications and other doses will certainly produce numerous the menopause relief Cassie Vault and they are employed for distinct change of life problems. It will not would you excellent to consider a natural change of life strategy for menopause flashes in the event it isn't really specifically for menopausal flashes. Some females stay away from having the symptoms of the menopause comfort they demand since they are basically with the incorrect medicine to help remedy instances because of menopause. An added purpose many women never always be satisfactory change of life alleviation is simply because themselves health care providers along with doctors usually are not because educated about change of life treatment options when they may be. Thus going into your medical doctor's business office using a report on symptoms and even perhaps the menopause property test results generally is a large help in enabling a medical doctor actually know what sort of therapy you actually need. If you think maybe your doctor is certainly not well-informed in terms of change of life and control of the change of life relief, check around for just one that is. Indeed, it really is completely fine to vary medical professionals and learn an individual that is the two updated for the latest remedies together with one which can take care of the entire you rather than only a sign or perhaps test consequence.
Make sure you remember you will find a great deal you can use by yourself to obtain the change of life alleviation. Physical exercise, eating habits, stress supervision, along with enough sleep are routine conditions supply you with lots of the change of life comfort. In addition there are a lot of textbooks in the menopause that will provide you with marketing strategies and techniques with regard to relieving menopause signs and symptoms. On the web user discussion forums and community forums are a fun way to find assist which could provide you with essential menopause comfort. Regardless of the, don't quit. Menopause alleviation is pretty achievable in the event you only stay in search with the remedy or even treatments which may be effective to suit your needs.
Mom: Uh, Mildred…I just realized….this is not your car…this is Thelma’s car.