Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It
It is 3:20 in the morning and I am wide awake having one of those wonderful things called hot flashes. Before this wonderful portion of my life called menopause began, my thoughts of being hot in the evening were a little different, and being cool had a whole different meaning, too. But facing menopause has taught me a few things.
Sagging can be prevented. Just keep eating until the wrinkles fill out.
Since I’ve been getting older, my memory is not as good as it used to be. Also, my memory is not as good as it used to be.
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
It’s scary when your body starts making the same noises as your coffeemaker.
You know you’re getting older when most of the products in your shopping cart contain the words “fast relief.”
I’m not having hot flashes. It’s just my inner child playing with matches.
I have found the cure for hot flashes. Chocolate! Does it work? I don’t know and as long as I have chocolate, I don’t care.
The up side to all this is I found out I’m not alone. My friend called me this week and said she doesn’t know what is wrong with her but she just feels bad. She said, “I ache all over and I just feel blah. One minute I’m burning up; the next freezing. I can’t remember what I was about to say, or what I got up to do. Things on me hurt I didn’t know I even had.” I said welcome to menopause.
Robin McGraw said she has found the natural cure for menopause. She has a treasure trove of herbal remedies. I think Dr Phil’s money would cure many of my problems. At least if I was out shopping, I’d have less time to worry about my face being on fire.
I’ve decided I can do dieting or menopause but not both. And since I have no choice about the menopause…
This is a true account as recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida:
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her voice, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!” The four men didn’t wait for a second invitation. They got out and ran like mad.
The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition; for the same reason, she did not understand why there was a football, a Frisbee and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat!
She tried and tried, and then it dawned on her why…A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn’t stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale teenagers were reporting a car-jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
And my favorite old age story…True story…about my mom!
My mom and her friends, Mildred and Thelma were out shopping together one day, when Thelma decided to run back into the store for something. Mom and Mildred waited in the car.
Mom, looking up: Mildred! Your headliner in this car is coming down back here.
Finding The Right Change of life Alleviation
It's quicker to have Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It menopause comfort today than ever before. Retailer shelving along with Websites offer a several products promising the change of life reduction for that change of life weary. Before purchasing and/or having any type of treatment, Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It whether or not over-the-counter as well as prescribed, it's a wise idea to learn more about your skill and remain educated upon what's accessible.
In order to begin in research associated with menopause relief therapies, it's a good idea to produce a amount of the the change of life signs and symptoms. Site map for Menopause Funnies: When You Can't Avoid It, Laugh At It When you have manufactured your checklist, rate each and every sign to the severity combined with the impact it really is putting on your current day-to-day dwelling. Distinct drugs and different dosages will deliver different menopause comfort Cassie Vault and are also useful for distinct the menopause troubles. It certainly can't does one good quality to consider an all-natural change of life strategy for menopause onset flashes if it just isn't specifically for hot flashes. A number of ladies avoid having the signs and symptoms of the change of life relief they demand since they are simply when using the drastically wrong medication to help remedy instances due to menopause. One other explanation many women will not become enough menopause alleviation is that by themselves health care providers along with medical doctors are certainly not because educated about the menopause treatments once they could possibly be. Therefore entering your dermatologist's workplace by using a set of signs and symptoms and perhaps even the menopause residence examination benefits can be quite a big help in allowing your doctor actually know which treatment method you really want. If you feel your physician isn't that knowledgeable in terms of change of life and power over change of life comfort, check around for example that's. Of course, it's correctly fine to alter medical professionals and see someone that's each updated for that most recent remedies as well as the one which will certainly treat the full you instead of merely a indication as well as analyze outcome.
Do not forget you will find a whole lot you can perform all on your own to obtain menopause reduction. Exercising, diet, stress supervision, and sufficient snooze are routine conditions that provide a lot of change of life reduction. In addition there are many guides in the change of life which could give you tips and techniques pertaining to relieving menopause signs and symptoms. Online forums and forums are a good way to discover assistance which could give you essential menopause comfort. It doesn't matter what, don't quit. Change of life alleviation is pretty achievable in the event you only stay in search from the treatment or perhaps remedies which can be successful for you.
Mildred: What? Oh my God. It better not be.
Mom: It is! Look at this!
Mildred: Well that beats all. I’m taking this car right back to the dealer. I haven’t had this car long. It shouldn’t be doing that.
Mom: No, you’re right. I’d take it back and give them a piece of my mind.
Mildred: Yeah! I sure will.
A few minutes pass and then….
Mom: Uh, Mildred…I just realized….this is not your car…this is Thelma’s car.